Sardines

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02/26/2013 by diaryofamissionarykid

SardinesYes. I know. You needn’t shout! Yes. Yes. Ok. Thank you. Yes, I… Yes. I will. I promise. Yes.

I apologize. Most profoundly. It has been far too long since my last post and that is a terrible thing for a writer to say. Especially one who has a blog with no readers. I’m sure I’ll probably have readers eventually, but for now, I have let down the internet. To make up for my lack of written word and funny stories, I shall tell you the tale of the dying college students.

Now, when I say dying students, I don’t mean dying in the sense of taking their last breaths and going on to a better place. What I mean by dying students is this: We. Were. Bored. And like normal college students when we’re bored we decide to do the logical thing and go to “Wally-World” and play sardines. If you aren’t familiar with the game of sardines, it’s when one person hides, and everyone else must find them and then hide with them until everyone is crammed into a clothes rack or dog-house, packed in like sardines in a can. Hence the name.

The idea of playing Sardines in Walmart was probably Melissa’s, a girl on my hall who happens to be a genius when planning schemes. We rounded up a group of us and waltzed off deciding who would hide first, scattering throughout the store as we searched for the ideal hiding place.

I should probably say that I am not one to take games lightly. You remember that one little kid who always got upset if the other kids didn’t ‘take the game seriously’? Yeah. That kid was me. I like to take those games so seriously, it’s crazy. If people joke around and are like, “Oh it’s just a stupid GAME…” I usually go into complete DANGER mode. It sometimes ends up like this:

Me: “Where are you going?”

Other guy: “I’m done playing capture the flag…this game is taking forever. Besides, I’m tired watching the prisoners…”

Me: “We are at WAR, soldier!!! The enemy is attacking, getting closer and closer to our lines! We MUST. NOT. BACK. DOWN! Go back to your post and keep watch! The outcome of this game may depend on you! You don’t want to let this country down do you? Well, do you?!?”

Other guy: “Okay, okay! Chill! You’re so dramatic about a little game!”

Me: “Oh. Right. Game. Gotcha.”

I don’t mean to go all crazy, but I love role-playing, so getting into a character works for me. Fortunately, I have some best friends who agree with me. We do a lot of acting together and pretending we’re people we aren’t. Pretending we’re in situations we aren’t. You should SEE us play mafia….

But back to sardines in Walmart.

So as people are hiding, I’m beginning to notice some people starting to shop instead of search. And that annoys me a tad. I mean, after all, we DID bring them here to PLAY, right? As time goes by, we start getting funnier looks more often and one person even asked who we were looking for. By our second or third round, I was hiding with Noel and we decided to hide by the restrooms in the back of the store in the employee section. Except we didn’t know it was the employee section. As a few of our friends found us, we started noticing that there were more employees gathering and soon the five of us were standing awkwardly in the corner while there were thirty or so employees in blue shirts standing in a circle, eyeing us strangely. And then it got even more awkward. One girl stood out from the rest and said:
“Ok so here’s what this meeting’s about…”

That was when we grinned sheepishly and fled the scene, mouthing ‘Sorry’ as we headed out the door. Soon the group was back together, but with a funny story to tell this time. We didn’t get kicked out, but it was that awkward moment where you are where you shouldn’t be and you shouldn’t be where you are. So we stood by the shoes instead and awkwardly waited for the last group.

In the end it was a fun evening with some friends, and another thing to put on my list of things that will NOT get you kicked out of Walmart. Apparently playing sardines in the clothes/shoes/employee area is not forbidden.

More to come, so in the meantime, stay salty!

Do you get it?

Like a sardine?

‘Cause sardine’s are salty?

And I said….

…oh never mind.

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